Chapter13

Chapter 13


July 14, 2008 Monday

It’s a Monday and it’s also my 15th wedding Anniversary! Yep I actually made it a whole 15 years and it only seems like 30 or so! LOL. I woke and went into the bathroom and gave Barb a hug and put on my glasses and came into the front living room which is my office and sitting on my desk is a card from my loving wife! OOPS! I sneak out to the kitchen and slip into my clogs grab the keys to the garage and run to the pick up and get the Wal-mart bag that’s been sitting on the back seat floor since Tuesday, locate my pen and quickly sign the card I had gotten her and hightail it back to the house and actually made it back without her knowing I had left! OOOO feeling like a Ninja now! I give her, her card and she looks at me in disbelief and asked “so, you DIDN”T forget?” AWW, Baby you know I only forgot the one time. And I get a big hug which will be the last one until Thursday after the chemo I’ll get in a few hours wears off and I can touch her again.

Guys, Let me give you some humble but very important advice. NEVER, EVER forget 2/3 dates that mean the difference between being a man and being a man! #1 is her BIRTHDAY! Never get a woman’s name tattooed on your body. If you do, just after the scabs fall off she WILL leave you! Murphy’s Law goes into effect as soon as the ink hits the skin!

BUT, DO tattoo her birthday on your silly ass! Want that “loving feeling”? Be on time with the card, diamonds and flowers, in that order!

With a GIRLFRIEND: remember 2 dates! The date you first went out together and the date you met between the sheets! Unless it was the same night then you’re one (un)lucky SOB! She WILL remember them! And do pop quizzes on them! BE PREPARED! Tattooing these dates is optional! Take option 1: TATTOO!
Tattoo your wedding anniversary some where also! Unless it happens you got married on a date important to you such as the running of the bulls, NASCAR’s opening day the Super Bowl or other such dates that you’ll remember! As long as you remember you married her also! On this day, give her diamonds, a card and flowers in that order!

And another tip, do NOT give her any gift with an electrical cord attached to it unless she asked you specifically for such a gift, pointed it out to you at the store and signs an affidavit stating that she wanted such a gift! I know the rules of men states that we like sleeping on the couch because it’s just like camping but, NOT! I’d rather be able to roll over at night and stretch my legs out too! Without worrying that parts aren’t super glued to other parts!

Why do you ask did I go into the above monologue? It happens that in year 4 of my marriage I kind of goofed! Yeah I got the date wrong and for some reason I KNEW I was right I could have sworn that we were married on the 17th and had not gone and gotten anything at all being of the male persuasion and always leaving such chores till the last minute. The 14th pops up and I wake up having just gotten in off the road, and low and behold there was a card sitting on my plate on the kitchen table!

OH! MY! GOD!

Please tell me this is NOT happening! Oh, but it is and I can see my life passing in front of my eyes! My loving wife, Mother of my son is standing there with “THE LOOK” (the all adoring I love you look) and I’m praying for my brain to come out of lock down! THINK, and I look at my wonderful adorable wife, who actually lets me make love to her and I have the SOLUTION! I hit my fore head with my hand and go “OH CRAP OH Baby I left your card in the truck! I’m so sorry sweetheart; I’ll go get it in a few minutes”! And guys when you can see the love in a woman’s eyes turn to ice you KNOW you’re a gonner! Especially, after eating your breakfast and you start to head to the door and she says “I’ll ride along with you baby!” you know that you won’t make it to Wal-Mart unnoticed unless I can get her drunk at 9 in the morning! Ain’t going to happen so when you get to the truck praying someone broke into it last night but knowing it didn’t and I get up into it and do “the search” and come up empty handed, and she finally asked the big question,

“WHY”

And me in my own innocence say, but it’s on the 17th ! With that Indiana Jones look as if saying Fly, what don’t you know how? From that oh so famous scene! The car got real cold! In JULY! Icicles were hanging from the sun visors! And she looks at me and I swear I felt someone walk over my grave! Not just walk on it but started to jump up and down on it and twisting their heels in for added measure! And no you will NOT go to Wal-Mart or to the drugstore and buy one now! Even the wonderful dinner at Red Lobster didn’t change her mood and yes the couch was a little lumpy but I learned a valuable lesson that day!

When I got back to my truck I took the calendar down and on the last day of December I wrote the date of July 14th Anniversary, write it down on new calendar, dummy! That helped! If I knew I was going to be late getting home I mailed the thing! Then I put a computer in the truck and so I learned how to use the calendar on them and also made a copy of the marriage license, and then just made an IMPORTANT DATES file and bingo! Husband gets lovin and attenuation because he remembered! And now that we all have a cell phone unless you’re extremely cheap and don’t buy a cell with a calendar feature you too can experience lovin and attention on all of those oh so important dates!

Back to the present! Barb and I talk a little as I prepare to go down to St. Johns Cancer Center for my chemo. I had watched “The Secret” last night while I sewed on my pouch idea and I’m trying to project myself with out cancer and I usually do have a PMA as I know I must be upbeat and as I head out I give Barbara a big hug and kiss as this is the last till Thursday nite or Friday morning.

I get to the center and go in and do the check in deal pay my $30 co pay and my 1st call is to get my blood pulled for lab work which goes nicely as the skin over my port is toughening up and the prick doesn’t even hurt this time and the nurse pulls my blood and sends me back into the waiting room. 2nd call is to see the Doctor but I see his nurse actually and we do the Q&A and vitals (for some silly reason I can’t explain I LOST 5 pounds over the weekend?) and she sends me back to the waiting room too! Finally Last Call! I go back and I take the quiet room again and when the nurse comes out she has a small bag of things and she goes “Oh they changed you! You are getting Carboplatin (Paraplatin, CBDCA). This won’t take long at all, only about an hour and a half!

OH JOY! I could have left the laptop, extra cans of liquid food, books and such at home! This is a walk in the park! And it didn’t even take that long! It didn’t give me the head ache that the other crap did but it has later in the day made me not want to burp after “eating!” I still have the ringing in my ears but that will go away I’m hoping as I know the secret! I made it home for a while and then go back for my radiation and today is in the books! I get home and water my plants and that’s only a 10 minute job but I come inside and I’m sweating like I ran a mile! Barb freaks out and makes me sit down and I come in here and surf the net for a while and watch the sun drop down a bit more in the sky before I take my walk down the street.

Tuesday

Well the chemo kicked in after I went to bed last night and I wound up sleeping propped up so the acid would stay in the stomach and not in my throat. I did have to bail at 0500 and when in my panic, I jumped up I punched Barb in the head, oh not to hard but it did surprise both of us! I didn’t vomit but I did wind up with that wonderful nasty taste in the back of my mouth! A little ginger ale washed it down but the ginger ale tasted just as bad! It did what it had to do but this is getting OLD fast! How can ginger ale taste bad? Well how can all food taste so bad!

I climb back in bed get to sleep and here we go again! Back into the bathroom and still nothing! Ok I pull my feeding tube out and drain the top off that way and get back to bed!

I wake up at 1130! And decide I’ll start doing my nausea relief by way of tube from now on! And I get to later on today!

About 1230, the Cancer Center calls and tells me that my appointment time is going to be set back due to the Tomo machine going down and my time will be at 5:15 pm. I get there and we set me up on the bed and away we go. I get in for the CT and just as they are pulling me out to do the final adjustments I feel the “Need” to hurl! Hands in the air is the signal and the girls are on their toes as one starts to unsnap me and the other gets a large cup. I use the cup till I get to the sink and, nothing! Oh yeah it’s there and I know it’s there that feeling of a lump just below the collar bone just sitting there laughing at me going “Yeah, Baby, ya gotta wait for me dude!” Well Dude, guess what! I unroll the old feeding tube and pull the plug and let loose and 2 ounces run and I feel the lump disappear! Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks! These girls want to get home from an already hard day and this detour is putting them behind as now we have to set me back up and do another CT as once I’m in the mask and secured on the table I shouldn’t be moved until the treatment is over. I think I should show them how to relieve me if needed but I feel I’ll make it ok now which I did! I’ll show them tomorrow.

The rest of the day is nice at home and I’ll be getting ready for bed in a few minutes.