Chapter 3

Chapter 3


05/08/2008 Thursday

I got home last night about 11pm last night. Brian my oldest is outside smoking (he doesn't know it but he's going on his dads quit smoking program! Quit or move out!) and greets me at the back door.

I go into my "office" the front formal living room and there on my desk is a stack of papers and forms that need to be filled out! Geeze Louise! Ya got to be kidding me! I've got cancer here, not applying to Harvard! This is going to take some time and I hate filling out forms! I REALLY hate filling out forms! Chit, I'll be dead by the time I'm done here and over half of them are for Social Security and disability and of course, food stamps.

OH yeah, I figured that I worked my butt off over the years and I have a family to feed and it is MY tax dollars and I'm a PROUD WORKING AMERICAN, OH, HELL, YES I'll take the food stamps and DARE 1 person to look down their nose at me! Bet I can bend it a little for them! It's not like I sat around and produced a ton of kids while high on drugs and drunk! I WORKED for all of this paper work and I'll take every little bit MY government says I'm entitled to! Besides it's coming from my Republican government! Thank God Hillary or Obama isn't in yet! I'd wait for the next republican to take office! Well, I don't think my wife will let me! (Just kidding people!) I know who wears the pants in THIS household! She tells me what color to wear and how to put them on also!

Any way, I leaf through the stack wondering if I might borrow the full version of Adobe from someone and scan all of this mess into the computer to make it a bit easier to do but I'll tackle it in the morning! I read Staceys blog and shut everything down and head to bed where Barbara is tossing around. I hold her as I fall asleep.

Awake and sipping on a cup of coffee flavored with Baileys Irish Cream (Thanks Baby sister Carol!) Barb asks what to do about the tree in the front yard. I look and there is ANOTHER job on the honey do list! Damn ice storm really did the thing in and I'll have to borrow a chain saw from a neighbor and cut it down. I liked that tree even if no one knows what kind it is! And I have no idea what to put in it's place?

Back inside to the office, read the paper, funnies always first! And I look at the pile of forms, shake my head and do this entry in the journal. I have to do it, but I'll give myself a little time to sit here and pick up Abby the cat and spoil her a little and listen to her relaxing purrs.... and STOP biting me cat! She loves to bite and nibble! She wants to be scratched and I'm not the best at typing and scratching at the same time! I look at the pictures on the wall over my desk of two boys growing up, my dad holding his grandson, mom, and think back, and, ok, lets start this ball rolling as aint anyone else going to fill this mess out. I can do blogging at night!

10:27pm

Went in for the MRI today. The nurse missed on the first try when she went to insert the IV and the needle went right through the vein! NOW I see why they are going to put in a CT Port Monday! Getting stuck so much is starting to make me feel like a pin cushion!

I'll go in tomorrow for the dietitian and dental hygienist and I found out that I can get a copy of the MRI! I'll be opening a new picture folder with some of the images and I'm also going to start one with a picture a day of me each day to show the effects of losing my hair and what I look like after the radiation and chemo! HMMM, I wonder if THAT will help people to decide to stop smoking and to go to the doctor when their bodies talk to them? Dave, my dispatcher told me the other day on the Qualcomm that I had influenced him to go to his doctor and check about a lump HE has on his neck! Good, MY trip IS starting to have a positive effect on others! (JOY, sweetness....please? LOL) I wonder if there is a morale department at St. Johns? I just might volunteer!

On another note, FINALLY, the bike is legal! We got the correct VIN on the registration and now I can get stopped by the police without worrying about a free trip to the station! WHOO WHOO! I also stopped and bought a few flowers to put around the house so that I'll have something to look at while sitting on the pouch when feeling run down from therapy and to help draw a few hummingbirds around!
I cleaned out the truck and turned in my fuel card. I can't believe that I can fill up my pickup truck with all the crap I keep in the silly thing! And I USE every little bit of it too! Un-freakin believable! Talked to my sister and I also found out that Google has an on line calendar that everyone can view so I'll post that information so ya'll can see what's up from day to day. Now time to play a little Dungeon Siege 2 and then to bed.

Night all!
PS; Forgot, I got a notice from the courts today, I have jury duty for June 2nd! Barb is saying NO! I'm thinking if I do it'll wind up being the biggest murder case since JFK and I'll get out of this dance after all! .....Nah I think the boss lady just might have something to say about that! LOL Also, Jerry and I went to Lone Star after the MRI for my last steak for a while! I had the Cajun Ribeye! HMMMMM


05/10-11/2008
The Weekend!
Ok, it’s raining for most of Saturday but I still get the motorcycle washed between showers and roll it to the garage where I get a little needed alone time as I take the Speedo and seat off so I can clean and wax under them and overall detail her since she hasn’t even seen a washing since last fall! Oh, she sparkles now especially since I take a little “Fitz” polishing compound to some of her aluminum parts and have them shining like a newly polished fuel tank on a Peterbilt! When this is over I’m buying a Dermal tool!
Sunday, Jerry and I spend a little time together and I don’t even go for a ride as it’s a little cool and windy as well! Tomorrow is a new start!

05/12/2008 Monday

Barbara wakes me up at 0615 as any earlier and it’ll just mean she’s stuck with a crazy man going through caffeine withdrawal which isn’t a pretty sight! (Hell, I’M not a pretty sight first thing in the morning anyway!) Besides the doctors ordered “nothing to eat or drink after midnight!”
We get to St. Johns go up to the station I was told to report to and get the “are you sure you’re to be here today” question from the nurse! Yep, if it’s Monday the 12th , is my reply and as she’s calling around to see if I screwed up, after a few minutes and I’m thinking I did she finds what she was looking for in a desk drawer! We do the insurance thing for the 4th time and go back to the out patient surgery center.

0715

I’m the first in and I’m shown where to put my shirt and actually I get to keep my dignity by not having to take off my jeans! A new one on me! But I still have to wear that stupid, ties in the back robe! It’ got to be a hospital thing! The nurse puts in my LAST IV needle and also pulls some blood for lab work before they can do surgery. After we do the 20 questions game and shown how to work the TV, Barb and I settle in and wait for them to take me back.

0800
They’re back, wanting more blood! It seems that there is a vampire stalking the halls of St. Johns and she stole mine and they need more!

0845

Blood work done and I’m wheeled about 50’ into the surgery suite and put on the table! You know I always said it would be a cold day in hell when I PAID someone to cut on me! Well it was about 60 degrees in there so what the hay! A male nurse comes at me with an electric razor and starts cutting through all of the hair on my chest and when he’s done and they drape a sheet over my head, my newest, bestest friend, Michelle, sets me up with a wonderful cocktail of something that sends me straight to sleepy town! Jack Daniels doesn’t hold a candle to that stuff!

I wake up to a nurse asking me if I’m hungry, something I never do 1 minute after waking, but for some reason oh yeah, feed me baby. NOW! Barb has cut the French toast up and the sausages and sitting there is a beautiful cup of coffee! YESSSSS! I LIKE this hospital! Coffee and French toast done and I nod back out. I have GOT to send my newest, bestest friend a thank you note! I sleep until my snoring makes them crazy and I guess the glue is dried so they kick me out to go home at about 1100!

The procedure I went through today was to insert a CT Port into the major artery going into my heart. If you look at my Albums look in the Medical stuff type of pictures and you will see a picture of the port which is about the size of a nickel (2cm) and about ½” tall. It’s made from titanium and is fairly heavy in my chest!

The first incision is made above the artery next to my throat (see the picture of the ugly guy and the bandages are x marks the spots!) The surgeon then uses the needle end of the catheter and pushes it into the vein and down the artery close to my heart. She then makes an opening in my chest about 4” above my right nipple and makes a pocket that she will sew the port itself to the muscle of my chest. (Those are very hard to find in MY chest as they fell down to around my belt years ago!) She then pushes the other end of the catheter UNDER the skin down to the port and glues it to the nipple on the bottom and finishes by gluing my skin together over the port. You can’t see it but I know it’s there! It’s painful right now!

We go home with a few wise words from the Doctor. No lifting! No bending! No exercise! In the words of my hero Bugs Bunny: She doesn’t know me very well, do she? LOL Exercise? Lets see, I used to know what that was, is that what you do when getting out of the recliner to go to the fridge for a beer? No MOTORCYCLE riding! NOOOOO! But to tell the truth, I don’t think I could get it off of the kick stand! But I’m home again and Jerry and I have a little more time together.

It’s hard to think what it’s going to be like being home for the next couple of months. I keep thinking I’m late for a delivery in NYC as I usually should be done with my Monday by 2 or 3 and am pulling into my parking area in Williamsburg, NY and ready for a nice meal! Barb will probably get mad and duct tape my silly carcass to the wall by the end of next week if I haven’t gone cabin fever crazy by then!

On the lighter side I’m having fun with the nurses who take my blood pressure when I go in for these excursions! Most people who go into the hospital for any kind of surgery or oncology services for the first couple of times have BP’s that are in the mild high stage 1 or higher due to the stress of knowing “something” isn’t right. Barb had to go to the oncology department a couple of months ago (she’s fine, just a check) and her BP was so high it worried the nurse! I just make them do a double take at the monitor as I’m still running between 110-118/68-75! What, me worried?

I received a card from a dear friend today, Jeannie, and she wrote a few lines that I’ll share with you.

“I often wonder why God gives us such enormous challenges in our lives. But, I know you will handle this with the same dignity and grace you’ve shown while conquering all of the other challenges/obstacles in your life.”

Grace and dignity aren’t in the rules in this game! I’m playing to win and this game has no rules!

Yes, God has placed another challenge on my road of life and as usual He knows that when I need to get to the other side of a hard obstacle I’ll play by the rules He made for me. He gave me the courage, knowledge and tools to face the devil and I have the ball in this game! I’m at peace with myself and with God! I know I’ll win and He knows the score! I just do as He says and will NOT worry myself into poor health!


I will fear no evil as He walks beside me.