Chapter 6 The Wifes new hair do

Chapter 7
The Wifes Hair Doo

Sunday is another rainy day and I’m tired of doing the books. Then, I make the BIG mistake of agreeing to help my wife highlight her hair!
To you guys out there. What ever the beauty parlor wants to charge is perfectly fine!
DO NOT stand there thinking this will be easy!
DO NOT think you’re saving money!
We are NOT wired for this!
Run away as fast as you can, screaming at the top of your lungs like a little girl if you can!
Let those who like that line of work have at it!

Let’s put it like this:
Pulling little strands of hair through little tiny holes in a cap isn’t as easy as you might think! THEN there is the stupid deal where you have to do every 3 holes on the cap and as you are going thru this tedious chore you realize that a rocket scientist will have a problem of figuring out that sequence on a not so round head on a not so round cap!
It’s not like the holes are all lined up in perfectly straight lines! One look at that cap and I almost fell to the floor in a fetal position crying! The engineer in me was freaking out!
It simply can not be done!

Even the mixing of the bleach or what ever that goop turned into smells worse than fiberglass mix ever wanted to smell like, but then again I LIKE the smell of a good fiberglass mix! Thrust me on this!
That stuff out of the box off of the shelf is DEADLY!
No wonder we never found WMD’s in Iraq!
They’re all over here being sold over the counter!
And our wives, daughters and yep some sons are buying them in large quantities!

As I’m applying this smelly crap that’s taking the hair out of my nose to her head, another thought hits me.
What if I screw this up?
What if her hair falls out?

I again almost fall to the floor in a fetal position crying!
What’s worse than your wife being mad at you?
Your wife being mad at you for screwing up her HAIR!
AM I COMPLETELY OUT OF MY MIND? What the HELL was I thinking?
Oh that’s right you WEREN’T!
What REAL man would think of going through this torture!
If I screw up this head of hair I’m a dead man!
This is something the Military might consider for their boys at Guantanamo Bay to use on those terrorists! Have them do a woman’s hair and live with the threat of ruining her locks! They’ll sing like canaries! No, that would be against the Geneva Convention! Cruel and inhumane treatment of POW’s!

Well I’m committed! All I can do is keep putting this stuff on wearing those plastic gloves trying not to breathe too deeply!
Finished, I RUN, not walk, back to the safety of my office to the laughter of Quicken and bury myself in the books, when I “feel” her behind me.

I KNOW it’s her!
Every husband knows when his better half is staring at him!
Well I might as well face the music. The couch is pretty comfortable and is really good for long naps so it might be a nice bed for the rest of my life.
I shudder as I slowly turn thinking I’ll never feel her “loving” touch again!
She’s standing there brushing her hair which thankfully didn’t wash off into the sink and smiles at me and tells me I did a great job that it’s beautiful!
I’m ecstatic!
I get to sleep in my bed!
No wondering what she might have put in my food or coffee!
I’m SAVED, until she says I did it so well I get to do it the next time!
Do broken arms hurt?