Chapter 12 How I quit smoking after 39 years!

Chapter 12
How I quit smoking
Or
39 years later a dummy got smart!

I promised a few weeks ago I would tell you all how I quit smoking and I guess I’d better make good on it!

But first I know you started to read this and think oh crap, WHY do I want to read this?

You really don’t! You’ve been smoking so long that it’s second nature to light up. I know this! I did for 39 years, and even after having been smoke free for over a year I STILL reach up to my pocket for that pack!

I’ll give you a secret! It’s NOT the smoke itself, just all the little actions and movements you’ve been doing for however long you’ve been smoking!

I’ll preach a little too!

Did you know you STINK! No kidding! I thought it was everyone joking me! It’s not! A little secret for you single people that smoke. Did you ever look across the room and that hottie or hunk caught your eye and you’re thinking you’re going to get lucky? You finally get next to them and (they aren’t a smoker) they turn their nose up and leave you hanging? But you thought you had this one in the “sack”?
It’s your “smell”. PERIOD! A lot of smokers don’t want to be close to a smoker! It wasn’t until I quit that I finally found out how “BAD” I did smell and I love cologne! To put it bluntly. Go to your full ash tray, poor a little water in it and then smell it and then lick it!
What? You wont do that? Why? You expected a non smoker to cuddle up to you and kiss you, right? What’s the difference?

I can tell when my step son comes in from outside after smoking a cigarette! Across the house! It’s “THAT” bad! I’m not kidding you! When my sense of smell came back I could tell! And those areas that you have to go to at work to smoke, stink!

A buddy of mine just quit a few months ago and he tells the same story! He can’t stand to be around smokers now!

Ok, one other preach and I’ll fill you in! At what it costs to buy a pack of smokes you can drive about 20 miles! LOL yeah it’s come to that! Drive, smoke or push the car!

Now that you’re all pissed at me but you’re still reading this I bet you just might really deep down want to “try” one more time! You do? Honestly? Great! Lets begin!

Take your cell phone out and go to Tools> Alarm clock
Don’t have an alarm clock? Hmmm, go get a better cell and then come back!
Those of you who have an alarm clock set it for 1 hour.
Now that it’s set here are the rules that I made for myself
• You can have a cigarette in 1 hour ONLY if you turn the alarm OFF not SNOOZE! That means that if you are in a situation where you can’t smoke and you turned the alarm off then sorry you can’t smoke right now! Reset the alarm WHEN you realize you missed your cigarette! You’ll get one in an hour! OH, if you find a cigarette in your hand and the alarm didn’t go off take them out of your pocket and put them some place you can’t just reach! I drive a truck for a living and I threw them across the dash on the passenger side and had to really reach for them! GET THEM OUT OF EASY REACH! Habit will make you get one unconsciously! Don’t believe me? Wait!
• The 1 hour rule DOESN”T count; A) when you wake up. B) After you eat a meal...BECAUSE, we do like to wake up and actually get some nicotine into our system and it’ll actually help you to quit and you’re NOT ready to eat a meal and NOT smoke afterwards!
• After 2 weeks reset the alarm to, are you ready? No? Well, get over it! 2 hours and the same rules apply!
You get 2 weeks! You made it this far are you going to let that little piece of paper and dried leaves get the better of you now? Shucks, you already went from 3 packs a day to less that 1 in ONE freakin day! Great job! (Unless you’re one of those who never sleeps!)

It’s been 2 weeks now and it’s time to quit! Go to Walmart and get 1 pack of the Mint flavored Equate nicotine chewing gum. I swear to you this is a whole lot better than the regular crap! I tried the regular and that was a couple years ago. Wonder why I didn’t quit then? Oh, Yeah, that was the nastiest stuff I EVER put in my mouth and I even tried to chew! It was worse than chewing tobacco! Any way.

• Set your alarm to 3 hours! But now you get a treat! You now get to chew a piece of gum! Read the directions and follow them! Do EXACTLY as the instructions say! Get the gum started by chewing it a few times to get it soft and wet, and park it between the gum and cheek. I started at the top right side of the back of my mouth and worked it around the top all the way to the other side then down to the bottom and repeat the process. I tried the patches several times and all they did was turn my skin red in a few places, BUT I had some of the best dreams in my life! Biggest stud in the world! In my dreams, anyway! LOL, OH, yes, You DO dream in Technicolor! While on nicotine patches! But what you are trying to do is quit! Don’t use them as they saturate you body and, well, we don’t want that as the next rule will piss you off!
• NO smoking extra cigarettes after you wake up. 1 when you wake and set the alarm. No smoking extra cigarettes after eating. If your alarm didn’t go off while you ate, wait for it! Do you REALLY want one? And be honest with yourself! DO YOU? That’s what I thought!
• You get a cigarette on the odd hours and a piece of gum on the even hours. And, YES, you can smoke and do nicotine products at the same time! You read the instructions? You DID read the instructions, right! Just don’t imitate a chimney and you’re safe!

I quit about 1 tray of gum into my 3 hour set up! I didn’t have any more cigarettes and I wanted to actually start chewing the gum as I was starting to get a “rush”, there was more nicotine in the gum than there was in what I was smoking. I wasn’t trying to smoke the silly thing to the filter. I was throwing half a cigarette out the window and guess what? The tar and nicotine builds up in the second half of that cigarette and that’s where a lot of the “stink” comes from by getting on your fingers!


After you quit

When you quit, don’t lie to yourself, when you go to the bar and “Oh, just 1 with my drink”! BULL. That JD and coke will taste BETTER without the smoke or you’ll realize that Budweiser really doesn’t taste all that well even with a born on date!! Or that you’re stressed and need one! That’s BULL! I’ll tell you why that’s a lie! I now have cancer! (And not from smoking either, which is the weird thing about MY cancer. LOL) If that isn’t stressful NOTHING is! Your spouse leaving you, You’ve lost your job, Your candidate didn’t get voted in to president, Your daughter/girlfriend is pregnant, You wrecked the car, Your dog died. A comet is on a collision course with Earth, Hmmm, NO! NOTHING is so stressful that you need to smoke a cigarette! Besides just go stand next to a smoker and smell 1 reason not to smoke! Go outside your place of business and smell that area and think of another reason you don’t need a smoke. You can still chit chat with those who smoke just stand up wind! I really believe I might have met MORE women if I hadn’t smoked! I’m also full of myself, ain’t I!! But really, go sniff the inside to your car! NOW you see! It probably still smells and you’ll need to take it down to get detailed on the inside but if you had smoked as long as I did I could have bought a car or 3 motorcycles with what I burned up in cigarettes!



My quit date was 26 February 2007!
Nothing will get me to smoke again!
Well, the comet thing…NO!

George ”Rollover” Purdy