Another day of a trucker in NYC!
Most of you know I’m an old truck driver. Been doing it for many years. I’ve been to every major and minor city in the USA. I would loved to have been able to drive on the rest of the worlds more challenging roads just for kicks! I have seen every kind of backing or turning challenge there could be and this is a story I think some of you might like!
I delivered in NYC and was making a really tight right with cars parked all the way to the stop signs on all four corners. The streets were 2 lanes only with cars parked on the sides as usual in Manhattans lower east side mixed residential business areas.
I had slid the tandems and the 5th wheel all the way forward and the unit was as short as I could get that 379 Pete with the 340” wheel base and 48' trailer and still had to do that right. I had a few cops there that made cars go back and I backed up and then got on the left side of my street and was making the turn and was real close to the car on the opposite corner that was parked illegally under the stop sign.
At the same time, my trailer tandems are sliding to the rear (I leave them unlocked in these circumstances so I don’t have to jump out and run back and pull the lock. This way when I pull the “trolley or hand brake) The tandems are already loose and when they slide to the back there is no tail swing which can eat the side out of a car. They were sliding making a loud clacking noise as one of the locking pins was hitting the holes in the rail as it slid past them. Needless to say I was getting a lot of attention. OH! Before you ask I had to go on this route to get to a building that was being remolded and I had 3 fire proof doors in that large trailer!
This woman came running out of a store screaming at me in some language I could not understand waving her arms and jumping up and down having the conniption fit of the century! I sweat I thought she was going to have a freaking heart attack!
I had the left side of the tractor next to her car about 2" from her mirror and the trailer was OVER her hood! The cops were standing there actually passing money on the bet which was a 2 way bet of weather I broke her windshield or didn’t make the turn which I got in by yelling at them to put $20 on the bet on me. This is when it got funny as hell!
The crowd that had been standing there watching started to laugh as I kept making my turn. The woman is still screaming and was now in the face of one of the cops still waving her arms like a dodo trying to take flight, the front left corner of the trailer got about an inch from her windshield and the cops were leaning over the hood watching this and elbowing each other but I made the turn, slid the tandems back to the front, got out and collected my $60 in winnings locked the tandems in place and watched the cops write the woman a parking ticket!
Hey! I love driving in NYC! The pay is good. I get to meet great people and scare the crap out of them!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Bird watching in the Burbs! An experence of life!
It has been an interesting week in the suburbs of Springfield!
Tuesday I was talking with my neighbor in her driveway directly across the street from my house when our resident Broad Winged Hawk started his noisy "this is my territory" screaming as he flew to one of his perches. About 30 seconds later another hawk flew across the top of my house away from him and then into the trees surrounding my neighbors house across the other street.
Ok to make this clear: My house is on a corner lot It's a T intersection/corner and the streets run N-S and E-W. This town is a perfect N,S,E,W grid pattern! My house is on the N-S street (NE corner) facing due west and my lady neighbor.
The 2nd hawk flew from north to south over my house and then over Mikes house into the trees behind him. Mike lives across the street from me to the south! Phyllis another neighbor is to my SW.
Anyway, Lucrisha (neighbor to the west) and I were facing my house or east and I see something heading towards up and as I look up a male Broad Winged Hawk lands on the top of the power pole next to the street corner (SW corner) and as we are looking up at him a distance of about 30' here comes another BW Hark and lands next to him and it's a female! The are cooing to each other and the Resident BW Hawk is screaming like crazy and these two look towards him and scream at him for about a minute then fly over Phyllis's house and land in a tree there then keep heading to the south and landing and looking around until out of sight!
That it was beyond "way cool" to us that they landed on that pole was just a fantastic Kodak moment with no freaking camera!
The rest of the week was hawks screaming and all the usual birds at the feeder!
Today I add another notch to the binoculars!
I changed the filters in the AC/Heater unit and as I hobbled out to the trash can (SW corner by the car port) I heard this loud Keening Kec Kec Kec that sounded almost familiar and as I turned towards where it came from and leaned to look around the corner of the house and roof a large bird flew over me and I mean almost directly over me at about 10' up! It landed in the tree in my front yard. I have no idea after 12 years living here what kind it is but that it grows like a bush but not higher than 15-20' high. It's also just west of the front yard bird feeder that is empty but one of the resident Cardinals was sitting in it at the moment and freaked when this big bird landed and as it turned towards me I see that it is a Peregrine Falcon! The slate grey/blue of the back and wing tops and the face with the beautiful side burns was all I needed for the ID!
It then started to chase the cardinal around the tree a few times and then the cardinal made a break for it and flew towards me with that falcon dead on it's tail and I'm thinking good bye Mr. Cardinal but ole Mr. Cardinal does a hard U Turn and flies right past that falcon through the tree and then NW into Lucrishas honeysuckle vines and to safety as that falcon was not going to get dinner out of that jungle of vines and he flew into the top of her fur tree and that was the last I saw of him!
That is until about an hour ago as I saw him out my back porch door (east) in my dying elm tree and I went to get Barbara and the binoculars but he was gone when I got back! I grabbed my sweater and cane and out the carport door I go and I stand there for almost 30 minutes just searching and here he comes!
A note to those who do not watch birds of prey. A Peregrine Falcon can almost be mistaken for a pigeon when they fly in wooded areas. They are about the size of a crow but at distance you watch for flying characteristics. I see what I think is a pigeon but I keep watching him until it lands in a tree to my west about 125 yards away and 60' high. I watch it through the binoculars 7x50 old WWII built and they reach out and touch as if you are looking at something a few feet away, and yes it's the falcon! I get maybe 1 minute of watching it when a small bird lands close by it, looks at it for about 5 seconds then starts to harass it as birds do especially when it's the beginning of "find a mate" month! He flies at that falcon and the falcon turns around to watch it and when the bird with a big brass pair flies at it again (how I have NO idea with all that weight weighing it down!) the falcon says "LUNCH TIME" and they fly off to the south and that's the last I saw of them!
If you see a falcon more than 2 times in a day at this close of a range it is setting up house in the area! The Peregrine had died or been killed off in this area from the use of DDT and someone from the state instituted a release program and turned a pair loose here I think about 10 years ago. I have over the years been watching and I believe we have maybe 5 breeding pairs in the area now.
But to get to see what I saw this week was great as my birds of prey watching which I got to do a lot of while driving over the years and across America and my regular birding of the smaller birds has fallen to whats local as I don't get to drive any more except the car around town.
I thank God and Mother Nature for the shows this week!he other street.
Ok to make this clear: My house is on a corner lot It's a T intersection/corner and the streets run N-S and E-W. This town is a perfect NSEW grid pattern! My house is on the N-S street (NE corner) facing due west and my lady neighbor.
The 2nd hawk flew from north to south over my house and then over Mikes house into the trees behind him. Mike lives across the street from me to the south! Phyllis another neighbor is to my SW.
Anyway, Lucrisha (neighbor to the west) and I were facing my house or east and I see something heading towards up and as I look up a male Broad Winged Hawk lands on the top of the power pole next to the street corner (SW corner) and as we are looking up at him a distance of about 30' here comes another BW Hark and lands next to him and it's a female! The are cooing to each other and the Resident BW Hawk is screaming like crazy and these two look towards him and scream at him for about a minute then fly over Phyllis's house and land in a tree there then keep heading to the south and landing and looking around until out of sight!
That it was beyond "way cool" to us that they landed on that pole was just a fantastic Kodak moment with no freaking camera!
The rest of the week was hawks screaming and all the usual birds at the feeder!
Today I add another notch to the binoculars!
I changed the filters in the AC/Heater unit and as I hobbled out to the trash can (SW corner by the car port) I heard this loud Keening Kec Kec Kec that sounded almost familiar and as I turned towards where it came from and leaned to look around the corner of the house and roof a large bird flew over me and I mean almost directly over me at about 10' up! It landed in the tree in my front yard. I have no idea after 12 years living here what kind it is but that it grows like a bush but not higher than 15-20' high. It's also just west of the front yard bird feeder that is empty but one of the resident Cardinals was sitting in it at the moment and freaked when this big bird landed and as it turned towards me I see that it is a Peregrine Falcon! The slate grey/blue of the back and wing tops and the face with the beautiful side burns was all I needed for the ID!
It then started to chase the cardinal around the tree a few times and then the cardinal made a break for it and flew towards me with that falcon dead on it's tail and I'm thinking good bye Mr. Cardinal but ole Mr. Cardinal does a hard U Turn and flies right past that falcon through the tree and then NW into Lucrishas honeysuckle vines and to safety as that falcon was not going to get dinner out of that jungle of vines and he flew into the top of her fur tree and that was the last I saw of him!
That is until about an hour ago as I saw him out my back porch door (east) in my dying elm tree and I went to get Barbara and the binoculars but he was gone when I got back! I grabbed my sweater and cane and out the carport door I go and I stand there for almost 30 minutes just searching and here he comes!
A note to those who do not watch birds of prey. A Peregrine Falcon can almost be mistaken for a pigeon when they fly in wooded areas. They are about the size of a crow but at distance you watch for flying characteristics. I see what I think is a pigeon but I keep watching him until it lands in a tree to my west about 125 yards away and 60' high. I watch it through the binoculars an old 7x50 WWII built for the Navy and these things reach out and touch as if you are looking at something a few feet away, and yes it's the falcon! I get maybe 1 minute of watching it when a small bird lands close by it, looks at it for about 5 seconds then starts to harass it as birds do especially when it's the beginning of "find a mate" month! He flies at that falcon and the falcon turns around to watch it and when the bird with a big brass pair flies at it again (how I have NO idea with all that weight weighing it down!) the falcon says "LUNCH TIME" and they fly off to the south and that's the last I saw of them!
If you see a falcon more than 2 times in a day at this close of a range it is setting up house in the area! The Peregrine had died or been killed off in this area from the use of DDT and someone from the state instituted a release program and turned a pair loose here I think about 10 years ago. I have over the years been watching and I believe we have maybe 5 breeding pairs in the area now.
But to get to see what I saw this week was great as my birds of prey watching which I got to do a lot of while driving over the years and across America and my regular birding of the smaller birds has fallen to whats local as I don't get to drive any more except the car around town.
I thank God and Mother Nature for the shows this week!
Tuesday I was talking with my neighbor in her driveway directly across the street from my house when our resident Broad Winged Hawk started his noisy "this is my territory" screaming as he flew to one of his perches. About 30 seconds later another hawk flew across the top of my house away from him and then into the trees surrounding my neighbors house across the other street.
Ok to make this clear: My house is on a corner lot It's a T intersection/corner and the streets run N-S and E-W. This town is a perfect N,S,E,W grid pattern! My house is on the N-S street (NE corner) facing due west and my lady neighbor.
The 2nd hawk flew from north to south over my house and then over Mikes house into the trees behind him. Mike lives across the street from me to the south! Phyllis another neighbor is to my SW.
Anyway, Lucrisha (neighbor to the west) and I were facing my house or east and I see something heading towards up and as I look up a male Broad Winged Hawk lands on the top of the power pole next to the street corner (SW corner) and as we are looking up at him a distance of about 30' here comes another BW Hark and lands next to him and it's a female! The are cooing to each other and the Resident BW Hawk is screaming like crazy and these two look towards him and scream at him for about a minute then fly over Phyllis's house and land in a tree there then keep heading to the south and landing and looking around until out of sight!
That it was beyond "way cool" to us that they landed on that pole was just a fantastic Kodak moment with no freaking camera!
The rest of the week was hawks screaming and all the usual birds at the feeder!
Today I add another notch to the binoculars!
I changed the filters in the AC/Heater unit and as I hobbled out to the trash can (SW corner by the car port) I heard this loud Keening Kec Kec Kec that sounded almost familiar and as I turned towards where it came from and leaned to look around the corner of the house and roof a large bird flew over me and I mean almost directly over me at about 10' up! It landed in the tree in my front yard. I have no idea after 12 years living here what kind it is but that it grows like a bush but not higher than 15-20' high. It's also just west of the front yard bird feeder that is empty but one of the resident Cardinals was sitting in it at the moment and freaked when this big bird landed and as it turned towards me I see that it is a Peregrine Falcon! The slate grey/blue of the back and wing tops and the face with the beautiful side burns was all I needed for the ID!
It then started to chase the cardinal around the tree a few times and then the cardinal made a break for it and flew towards me with that falcon dead on it's tail and I'm thinking good bye Mr. Cardinal but ole Mr. Cardinal does a hard U Turn and flies right past that falcon through the tree and then NW into Lucrishas honeysuckle vines and to safety as that falcon was not going to get dinner out of that jungle of vines and he flew into the top of her fur tree and that was the last I saw of him!
That is until about an hour ago as I saw him out my back porch door (east) in my dying elm tree and I went to get Barbara and the binoculars but he was gone when I got back! I grabbed my sweater and cane and out the carport door I go and I stand there for almost 30 minutes just searching and here he comes!
A note to those who do not watch birds of prey. A Peregrine Falcon can almost be mistaken for a pigeon when they fly in wooded areas. They are about the size of a crow but at distance you watch for flying characteristics. I see what I think is a pigeon but I keep watching him until it lands in a tree to my west about 125 yards away and 60' high. I watch it through the binoculars 7x50 old WWII built and they reach out and touch as if you are looking at something a few feet away, and yes it's the falcon! I get maybe 1 minute of watching it when a small bird lands close by it, looks at it for about 5 seconds then starts to harass it as birds do especially when it's the beginning of "find a mate" month! He flies at that falcon and the falcon turns around to watch it and when the bird with a big brass pair flies at it again (how I have NO idea with all that weight weighing it down!) the falcon says "LUNCH TIME" and they fly off to the south and that's the last I saw of them!
If you see a falcon more than 2 times in a day at this close of a range it is setting up house in the area! The Peregrine had died or been killed off in this area from the use of DDT and someone from the state instituted a release program and turned a pair loose here I think about 10 years ago. I have over the years been watching and I believe we have maybe 5 breeding pairs in the area now.
But to get to see what I saw this week was great as my birds of prey watching which I got to do a lot of while driving over the years and across America and my regular birding of the smaller birds has fallen to whats local as I don't get to drive any more except the car around town.
I thank God and Mother Nature for the shows this week!he other street.
Ok to make this clear: My house is on a corner lot It's a T intersection/corner and the streets run N-S and E-W. This town is a perfect NSEW grid pattern! My house is on the N-S street (NE corner) facing due west and my lady neighbor.
The 2nd hawk flew from north to south over my house and then over Mikes house into the trees behind him. Mike lives across the street from me to the south! Phyllis another neighbor is to my SW.
Anyway, Lucrisha (neighbor to the west) and I were facing my house or east and I see something heading towards up and as I look up a male Broad Winged Hawk lands on the top of the power pole next to the street corner (SW corner) and as we are looking up at him a distance of about 30' here comes another BW Hark and lands next to him and it's a female! The are cooing to each other and the Resident BW Hawk is screaming like crazy and these two look towards him and scream at him for about a minute then fly over Phyllis's house and land in a tree there then keep heading to the south and landing and looking around until out of sight!
That it was beyond "way cool" to us that they landed on that pole was just a fantastic Kodak moment with no freaking camera!
The rest of the week was hawks screaming and all the usual birds at the feeder!
Today I add another notch to the binoculars!
I changed the filters in the AC/Heater unit and as I hobbled out to the trash can (SW corner by the car port) I heard this loud Keening Kec Kec Kec that sounded almost familiar and as I turned towards where it came from and leaned to look around the corner of the house and roof a large bird flew over me and I mean almost directly over me at about 10' up! It landed in the tree in my front yard. I have no idea after 12 years living here what kind it is but that it grows like a bush but not higher than 15-20' high. It's also just west of the front yard bird feeder that is empty but one of the resident Cardinals was sitting in it at the moment and freaked when this big bird landed and as it turned towards me I see that it is a Peregrine Falcon! The slate grey/blue of the back and wing tops and the face with the beautiful side burns was all I needed for the ID!
It then started to chase the cardinal around the tree a few times and then the cardinal made a break for it and flew towards me with that falcon dead on it's tail and I'm thinking good bye Mr. Cardinal but ole Mr. Cardinal does a hard U Turn and flies right past that falcon through the tree and then NW into Lucrishas honeysuckle vines and to safety as that falcon was not going to get dinner out of that jungle of vines and he flew into the top of her fur tree and that was the last I saw of him!
That is until about an hour ago as I saw him out my back porch door (east) in my dying elm tree and I went to get Barbara and the binoculars but he was gone when I got back! I grabbed my sweater and cane and out the carport door I go and I stand there for almost 30 minutes just searching and here he comes!
A note to those who do not watch birds of prey. A Peregrine Falcon can almost be mistaken for a pigeon when they fly in wooded areas. They are about the size of a crow but at distance you watch for flying characteristics. I see what I think is a pigeon but I keep watching him until it lands in a tree to my west about 125 yards away and 60' high. I watch it through the binoculars an old 7x50 WWII built for the Navy and these things reach out and touch as if you are looking at something a few feet away, and yes it's the falcon! I get maybe 1 minute of watching it when a small bird lands close by it, looks at it for about 5 seconds then starts to harass it as birds do especially when it's the beginning of "find a mate" month! He flies at that falcon and the falcon turns around to watch it and when the bird with a big brass pair flies at it again (how I have NO idea with all that weight weighing it down!) the falcon says "LUNCH TIME" and they fly off to the south and that's the last I saw of them!
If you see a falcon more than 2 times in a day at this close of a range it is setting up house in the area! The Peregrine had died or been killed off in this area from the use of DDT and someone from the state instituted a release program and turned a pair loose here I think about 10 years ago. I have over the years been watching and I believe we have maybe 5 breeding pairs in the area now.
But to get to see what I saw this week was great as my birds of prey watching which I got to do a lot of while driving over the years and across America and my regular birding of the smaller birds has fallen to whats local as I don't get to drive any more except the car around town.
I thank God and Mother Nature for the shows this week!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
You saw the Christams gift list for women NOW it's Valentines DAY!
Valentines Day is fast approaching!
Ok guys time is up! If you have NOT gotten the “love of your life for now” anything for Valentines day I hope the doghouse is clean!
If you have not seen all the TV spots about this day or the ones on the radio if anyone still listens to them over your Ipod or seen any paper advertisements such as bus wrapping, posters on bus stops, subways, on billboards in magazine that you really need to fix your way of life!
Anyway let’s get done to business!
It’s time to think about a gift that’s says “I Love YOU!” This is going to be like Christmas BUT with a way different meaning!
As I informed you all about what NOT to buy as a present for Christmas the same rules apply.
Unless she looked you in the eye
Unless all she gave hints to while talking weather on the phone, in text messages, in emails or on Skype
Or came right out and pointed at it and looked at you and smiled then that’s what she wants!
The rules are:
IF it has an electrical cord built in or the cord can be attached to this electrical device DO NOT BUY IT! UNLESS she hinted to her fullest ability and with MY experience of those not so hard to decipher hints that she wanted that particular device weather it being a hair dryer, heating pad, electrical hedge trimmers, a computer, cell phone, or lawnmower get the thing or not! You know the one you’re buying for! IF she didn’t drop those hints and you bought something that runs on electricity, head to the doghouse. Do NOT pass Go! And that’s her $200 so leave it on the table!
IF this present has an internal combustion chamber and she didn’t hint at it again NO!
If you buy her ANYTHING that pertains to makeup or what is commonly known as BEAUTY supplies and you even start to reach for it you ARE a dead man! She can be 1000 miles away and one of the super powers most of you don’t know about women is they KNOW when you are going to go into that dysfunction known as the “hold my beer and watch this” moment! That being you are going to buy something that says I think you need to wear this because you have a flaw! The dog house will NOT hide your carcass!
The same applies to clothing! Not from WalMart, Target, JC Penny or Victorias Secret and trust me when I say this if it comes from Victoria’s place that skimpy little see through piece of cloth is NOT for her, it’s for you! You know it, I know it as does every male on the planet!
Yeah you know the drill, head to the doghouse! Take that see through thing with you and use it as a mosquito net! Never buy her clothing ESPECIALLY bras or panties! You WILL ALWAYS buy the wrong size! In bras that’s a cardinal sin and will get you out UNDER the dog house that is buried 6 feet down! You sir are now in hell! If she wears a “B” and you come home with a “D” I would NOT want to be a fly on that wall! That whole house is subject to what we experienced and been there done that crowd is known as…
The RATH of Woman!
You think the Exocerest was bad when the little girls head did that 360* thing? Yeah, as I said that fly is a gonner also! The same if it’s a pair of panties! We men still will never understand the way women’s clothes are sized! We still have no idea how to read the size on that tag! As to the only rule of buying presents for women, IF she did NOT pick it up, look you in the eye and smile and you did NOT look at what she held in her loving hands you do NOT belong walking the face of the earth! You are wasting air the rest of us need to understand that wonderful creature known as Woman!
Ok to recover the “Not TOs” is something she did not hint to you and it’s something that is for her only. If it’s something that you can use them that is off the list!
Lets head to the OH HELLO YEAHs!
A trip to someplace she wants to go!
Any thing she hinted at
A new house
A detail for her car, pick up truck or motorcycle
A lifetime supply of her favorite snacks, yoga, Tai Chi classes, credit cards with unlimited space high limit or..
JEWELRY!
If it sparkles, shines and weighs a ton and is bigger than her BFFs stuff it’s a winner! If it’s 2 times bigger than her worst enemies it’s even better!
If it’s gold, silver, platinum, or titanium (ok I’m still out on that one) and is has pretty sparkly rocks on it the whole present is measured in points or carats them you are doing GREAT!
The bigger the stone mounted in that band of precious metal, that dangles off a chain made of any of those metals or wraps around any body part and sparkles you have done well!
The doghouse is now a bad dream and her gratitude can lead to headaches due to loss of blood to the head! A full stomach from all the wonderments from her kitchen and the pride you see in her eyes when she slips up and waves this large carat diamond or stone or precious metal piece of endearment in her BFFs face!
Do we all understand what not to buy the woman of your life?
If it plugs into a wall socket
If it runs off fossil fuels and pertains to beauty, shop work, lawn care, or can transport them,
Clothing of any kind.
Go find the doghouse! It’s still chilly so take a few blankets because that’s ALL the warmth you’ll feel until her head stops spinning and everything she looks at stops bursting into flame!
If she hinted that this is what she wants, get it! NO Matter what! The cost does not factor into this at all!
Have a great Valentines Day!
George
aka
Still alive after all these holidays!
Ok guys time is up! If you have NOT gotten the “love of your life for now” anything for Valentines day I hope the doghouse is clean!
If you have not seen all the TV spots about this day or the ones on the radio if anyone still listens to them over your Ipod or seen any paper advertisements such as bus wrapping, posters on bus stops, subways, on billboards in magazine that you really need to fix your way of life!
Anyway let’s get done to business!
It’s time to think about a gift that’s says “I Love YOU!” This is going to be like Christmas BUT with a way different meaning!
As I informed you all about what NOT to buy as a present for Christmas the same rules apply.
Unless she looked you in the eye
Unless all she gave hints to while talking weather on the phone, in text messages, in emails or on Skype
Or came right out and pointed at it and looked at you and smiled then that’s what she wants!
The rules are:
IF it has an electrical cord built in or the cord can be attached to this electrical device DO NOT BUY IT! UNLESS she hinted to her fullest ability and with MY experience of those not so hard to decipher hints that she wanted that particular device weather it being a hair dryer, heating pad, electrical hedge trimmers, a computer, cell phone, or lawnmower get the thing or not! You know the one you’re buying for! IF she didn’t drop those hints and you bought something that runs on electricity, head to the doghouse. Do NOT pass Go! And that’s her $200 so leave it on the table!
IF this present has an internal combustion chamber and she didn’t hint at it again NO!
If you buy her ANYTHING that pertains to makeup or what is commonly known as BEAUTY supplies and you even start to reach for it you ARE a dead man! She can be 1000 miles away and one of the super powers most of you don’t know about women is they KNOW when you are going to go into that dysfunction known as the “hold my beer and watch this” moment! That being you are going to buy something that says I think you need to wear this because you have a flaw! The dog house will NOT hide your carcass!
The same applies to clothing! Not from WalMart, Target, JC Penny or Victorias Secret and trust me when I say this if it comes from Victoria’s place that skimpy little see through piece of cloth is NOT for her, it’s for you! You know it, I know it as does every male on the planet!
Yeah you know the drill, head to the doghouse! Take that see through thing with you and use it as a mosquito net! Never buy her clothing ESPECIALLY bras or panties! You WILL ALWAYS buy the wrong size! In bras that’s a cardinal sin and will get you out UNDER the dog house that is buried 6 feet down! You sir are now in hell! If she wears a “B” and you come home with a “D” I would NOT want to be a fly on that wall! That whole house is subject to what we experienced and been there done that crowd is known as…
The RATH of Woman!
You think the Exocerest was bad when the little girls head did that 360* thing? Yeah, as I said that fly is a gonner also! The same if it’s a pair of panties! We men still will never understand the way women’s clothes are sized! We still have no idea how to read the size on that tag! As to the only rule of buying presents for women, IF she did NOT pick it up, look you in the eye and smile and you did NOT look at what she held in her loving hands you do NOT belong walking the face of the earth! You are wasting air the rest of us need to understand that wonderful creature known as Woman!
Ok to recover the “Not TOs” is something she did not hint to you and it’s something that is for her only. If it’s something that you can use them that is off the list!
Lets head to the OH HELLO YEAHs!
A trip to someplace she wants to go!
Any thing she hinted at
A new house
A detail for her car, pick up truck or motorcycle
A lifetime supply of her favorite snacks, yoga, Tai Chi classes, credit cards with unlimited space high limit or..
JEWELRY!
If it sparkles, shines and weighs a ton and is bigger than her BFFs stuff it’s a winner! If it’s 2 times bigger than her worst enemies it’s even better!
If it’s gold, silver, platinum, or titanium (ok I’m still out on that one) and is has pretty sparkly rocks on it the whole present is measured in points or carats them you are doing GREAT!
The bigger the stone mounted in that band of precious metal, that dangles off a chain made of any of those metals or wraps around any body part and sparkles you have done well!
The doghouse is now a bad dream and her gratitude can lead to headaches due to loss of blood to the head! A full stomach from all the wonderments from her kitchen and the pride you see in her eyes when she slips up and waves this large carat diamond or stone or precious metal piece of endearment in her BFFs face!
Do we all understand what not to buy the woman of your life?
If it plugs into a wall socket
If it runs off fossil fuels and pertains to beauty, shop work, lawn care, or can transport them,
Clothing of any kind.
Go find the doghouse! It’s still chilly so take a few blankets because that’s ALL the warmth you’ll feel until her head stops spinning and everything she looks at stops bursting into flame!
If she hinted that this is what she wants, get it! NO Matter what! The cost does not factor into this at all!
Have a great Valentines Day!
George
aka
Still alive after all these holidays!
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