“The Snow Shovel”

“The Snow Shovel”


Listening to the weather reports coming out of Georgia reminds me of when we moved back to Lithia Springs after my dad passed away to help mom.

After we had unloaded the U Haul and everything in the living quarters was all put in their places, I was downstairs in the garage finishing up. My new neighbor, an Atlanta Police officer who flew helicopters for the city came down to introduce himself and as we were talking he was admiring my “wall of pride” or where all the large hand tools hung, he noticed my trusty “D” handled orange snow shovel.

Being a true southerner such as I, he made the usual comment on such a useless tool! I had to explain to him that in Springfield, Mo we were used to using this implement at least once a year and also being the good red blooded male, he knew that we never throw away a tool no matter how long it’s been since it was last used! We traded a few jokes and his were aimed at the tool that would never get used! This became a ritual when he would come over to shoot a few hoops or work on something or other or sit and drink a beer or two listening the Braves play on the old AM radio.

Winter rolls around and as it’s down south where we “never” get snow but that white stuff that fell that winter sure looked like the real thing! Shoveled like it too!

It would be best if I explained something. The subdivision we lived in was on a hill.
Bob’s house was up hill from mine and his driveway was pointed towards MY front door! My driveway was even steeper than his and was pointed downhill towards the creek behind my house and many pine, oak and dogwood trees! A pick up truck or car does not do well on these slopes!

While my teenaged son (oh teenagers are so useful when it snows and one owns a snow shovel!) was doing his best to remove that white stuff off the drive my neighbor walks up and stands there a minute watching how a snow shovel is operated.

Finally, he can’t hold it in any more. He looks at me and says ”After all the joking and ribbing I’ve given you about that snow shovel I was wondering, if, when he’s done with your drive way, may I borrow that thing and do mine?”

I looked at him, smiled that you know what grin, and told him “Yeah I reckon but I have to ask you if you want hot sauce with that crow?”

That shovel made the rounds of the neighborhood that day and got pretty worn down!

How do you go through like without good neighbors?

George “Rollover” Purdy

Christmas Advice for men and NEWLYWEDS!

Christmas is around the corner. This holiday is a once a year thing and it's NOT a surprise! BE PREPAIRED! You had a year to actually LISTEN to her! You had a year to LOOK! Now for a little advice;

DO NOT GIVE ANYTHING WITH A POWER CORD ATTACHED TO IT!
Unless she specifficially asked for it as applied by the rules of women! She drops several hints and then POINTS IT OUT TO you.

Unless the present is a computer or a TV SHE asked for, anything with a power cord attached will send you to the doghouse. If it is a beauty product STOP! Did she ASK for it? If not you are telling her she is ugly! Doghouse bound you are!
Cleaning products like vacuums and whatever if not asked for, to the doghouse you go!
Chain saws unless her hobby is chainsaw art and totem pole carving you’re going to get it used on your arse!

If this present you give her can be used by you forget it! Buy it for yourself!

Doghouse land is no fun! There is no good food, as you will be cooking it yourself! There will be no lovin and attention! None of that horizontal bebop for a long time! And, if you think the silent treatment is ok, try it! It’s highly overrated!

If this present is real small and cheap use it as a STOCKING STUFFER! ANYTHING under a tree says I LOVE YOU! It should NOT say “I’m an idiot and have no clue!”
The best and ONLY things you put under a tree are these:

*Clothing in the CORRECT sizes! This is a no brainer, just go into the dirty clothes hamper and look at a tag! The CORRECT SIZE is on a tag! DO NOT GO TO THE BACK OF THE CLOSET! These clothes are there because they DO NOT FIT! BE VERY, VERY CAREFUL with bras! If you get the wrong size UP you’re a DEAD MAN!
* Nick Knacks for her collection
*A hobby gift she likes to do
*A car, truck or motorcycle for HER! Get your own!
*A matching helmet for the motorcycle!
*If she has her own bike or P/U , get accessories for it! Like a tool box, stero, side saddles, windshield, chain belt, leathers, boy beater whip, set of tires, a detail at the best place in town, oil change or service job.

* The final suggestion I can give you is DIAMONDS! OH yes, nothing says I love you more than a sparkly little rock NOT to little or it will need to go to the stocking! Gold, silver and platinum jewelry is also at the top of the list! If it’s beautiful it a winner and if her BFF or worse enemy does not have one, then you my friend will get a trip to heaven!

Have a happy Hanukkah or a very Merry Christmas! Stay out of the doghouse!

now watch this video! Let this be a warning!!!!! http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1543292789?bctid=3130509001