Warning to all men! Valentines Day is very soon!

Valentines Day is around the corner!
Let me help you to save your life!
Sunday is Valentines day in case you missed ALL the hints she has given you, the billboards, TV spots, Radio spots, and the newspaper and internet ads!

A short list of what to get that woman who puts up with your crap all year that so deserves a wonderful and loving present FROM THE HEART NOT from your ARSE!

WARNING! If it has an electrical cord attached to it you are a DEAD MAN unless she drug you to a store and pointed at it or pointed at it in a magazine, on the computer monitor, cut the ad out and pined it to your shirt or TOLD you to your face she wanted it DO NOT BUY ANYTHING that plugs into a wall electrical outlet! Nothing good will come from it! Cookware falls into the same category!

Never ever buy makeup or exercise equipment! These things tell her she's ugly or fat in your eyes! I KNOW you do NOT answer that 1 question of "does this make my butt look fat" so why do you buy things that have to do with beauty or weight?

There are only a few things you buy the one woman who looks you in the face during those intimate moments when you havent shaved, fixed your hair, killed the smell coming out of the mouth and who also has had your children for you, cleaned your house while you sat there watching sports,cooks for you or puts up with you at parties!
DIAMONDS are first on the list.
A sweet card is next NOT A FUNNY ONE!
A car!
A Motorcycle
A P/U Truck
A years filled up Bus/Subway Rider card
A gun
Dinner and show
A single or dozen flowers WITH the above but not alone as they DIE! Then she has nothing to show her girlfriends about the wonderful man she has! NEVER PLASTIC FLOWERS!

DO NOT BUY Victorias Secret as that's not for her but you! She knows that also! BUT, a gift card does work as she makes the decision on what to get and that way it IS for her! BUT that's an add on to all the above! Also you won't buy the wrong size because you were not smart enough to go look at sizes in the drawer before you let your eyes and little buddy do the shopping!

Just remember if it has an electrical cord and I even mean a computer or anything just do not go there!

Now, times they are a changing and a cell phone or the smartest one on the market just might out do a diamond with teenagers these days!

Just make the right decisions for the woman who puts up with you all year and maybe you'll have a wonderful evening! SMILE !

IF she does ask for anything with a cord attached to it get it in writing and signed with a drop of her blood on the paper to COVER YOUR ASS!