Christmas is around the corner. This holiday is a once a year thing and it's NOT a surprise! BE PREPAIRED! You had a year to actually LISTEN to her! You had a year to LOOK! Now for a little advice;
DO NOT GIVE ANYTHING WITH A POWER CORD ATTACHED TO IT!
Unless she specifficially asked for it as applied by the rules of women! She drops several hints and then POINTS IT OUT TO you.
Unless the present is a computer or a TV SHE asked for, anything with a power cord attached will send you to the doghouse. If it is a beauty product STOP! Did she ASK for it? If not you are telling her she is ugly! Doghouse bound you are!
Cleaning products like vacuums and whatever if not asked for, to the doghouse you go!
Chain saws unless her hobby is chainsaw art and totem pole carving you’re going to get it used on your arse!
If this present you give her can be used by you forget it! Buy it for yourself!
Doghouse land is no fun! There is no good food, as you will be cooking it yourself! There will be no lovin and attention! None of that horizontal bebop for a long time! And, if you think the silent treatment is ok, try it! It’s highly overrated!
If this present is real small and cheap use it as a STOCKING STUFFER! ANYTHING under a tree says I LOVE YOU! It should NOT say “I’m an idiot and have no clue!”
The best and ONLY things you put under a tree are these:
*Clothing in the CORRECT sizes! This is a no brainer, just go into the dirty clothes hamper and look at a tag! The CORRECT SIZE is on a tag! DO NOT GO TO THE BACK OF THE CLOSET! These clothes are there because they DO NOT FIT! BE VERY, VERY CAREFUL with bras! If you get the wrong size UP you’re a DEAD MAN!
* Nick Knacks for her collection
*A hobby gift she likes to do
*A car, truck or motorcycle for HER! Get your own!
*A matching helmet for the motorcycle!
*If she has her own bike or P/U , get accessories for it! Like a tool box, stero, side saddles, windshield, chain belt, leathers, boy beater whip, set of tires, a detail at the best place in town, oil change or service job.
* The final suggestion I can give you is DIAMONDS! OH yes, nothing says I love you more than a sparkly little rock NOT to little or it will need to go to the stocking! Gold, silver and platinum jewelry is also at the top of the list! If it’s beautiful it a winner and if her BFF or worse enemy does not have one, then you my friend will get a trip to heaven!
Have a happy Hanukkah or a very Merry Christmas! Stay out of the doghouse!
now watch this video! Let this be a warning!!!!! http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1543292789?bctid=3130509001
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